He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
