I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
