I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
