im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
