what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
