That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
