There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
