i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
