Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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