awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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