Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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