would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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