She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
