saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You don't make any sense
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