I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
