I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
