i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
