Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Drake has all the answers
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
