well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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