I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
