Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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