He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
