sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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