so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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