Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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