Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
