Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
