dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Sorry my hands just texted you
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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