i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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