absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
