Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I don't deserve a penis
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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