sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
