babies were throwing up all over the place
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
