Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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