We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
