Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
