bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
