ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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