Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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