Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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