So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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