do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
