my vag is so smooth its legendary
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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