FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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