Are we in a gay sports bar?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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