Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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