this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
No subtext here. People are naked.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
