so explain again why im purple
no
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
