It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
worst night to have a conscience
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
