Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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