where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
