I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
