summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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