oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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