I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
