The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
