Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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