Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
