No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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