It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
