wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
