I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
