He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
